Sometimes shit just sucks!!
I have decided that stuff that most people find to be horrific I have gotten used to. Sad when being told not only do you have cancer in your abdomen but we are going to cut your boobs open and remove some lumps too.. I think the normalcy of being told my cancer is back is scary to me.. I took tonight off to wrap my head around some stuff and figure out why I am not scared anymore.. I have Intreperitoneal Adenocarcinoma. It is cells growing in the lining of your abdomen. The lining of the abdomen is like uterine tissue so these cells attach like I never had a full hysterectomy.. O.K. folks I had the hyst. to get rid of this cancer at 22. I have had my ovaries removed too. They took part of my liver 20 months ago and 6, 10 week courses of chemo. The chemo has been spaced out over the last 8 1/2 years.
So today I went in for a physical, the girly exam(OH JOY!!) and to meet the surgeon who was going to do my laparoscopy. I had my mamogram done today too. I went to see the nurse practioner for the girly stuff and she told me that the lumps in my breast were probably benign but to be sure I am going to have them removed (the lumps). So the surgeon who was going to to the lap decided to send me to a more qualified doc to do both operations at once.
Next week I am going in for a digital mamogram and ultra sound of my boobs, an ultrasound, CT scan and an MRI of my abdomen. Thank God for good health insurance.
I have decided to work as much as I can before the surgery to keep my mind busy. I love my job and the people I meet. So it should help.
I was both shocked and touched by Danny and his friend Staci. Danny surprised me by telling me not to worry he would be with me through it all. Even hold my hair when I puke from treatment. Now my XH#2 left me when I had my hysterctomy and the course of chemo. He couldn't hack it. Which I can kinda understand but he truly hated losing the looks of a skinny little Trophy Wife... He even told me that a few years later. I was so afraid to tell Danny I honestly thought he would run for the hills. I knew I was falling in love with him for some reason.. What an angel.
Staci has offered to come here and stay with me if I need her to. I am glad to have found a friend that is so caring and sweet.. Not to mention what a kick in the ass she is to hang out with. She has a way of making you feel so welcome even if she doesn't know you from Eve. I really like how good a friend she is to Danny.
Ok enough of the grumbling I am going to go take a candle lit Bubble Bath and just get my head on straight so maybe tomorrow shit won't suck as bad.

Girlie Day!
Yippie!! Occasionally I have to kick off the combat boots, bullet proof vest and just be Regular girl.
So I have parked my ass in front of my computer with a bag of mini Milkyways! This evening I am gonna paint my toenails and add lowlights to my hair. How's that for a girlie day?
In all actuality I am wishing I could be with Danny tonight! I haven't seen him in two weeks and It is driving me nutz! I still have to wait two more before I see him.. Hmmm maybe I'll sneak away for a weekend to see him. Ditch work for a night. Yup sounding like a plan already. I still have to get around what to do with the kids.. I do have some sisters who owe me a few! He he he my evil plan is working! Damn I am such a girl.

Revenge is Sweet!
I tried to post this last night but Blogger was P.M.S.ing.
Just so ya know I am allergic to soy. The look like a strawberry, Puff up like a scared Blow Fish, Quit breathing kind of allergic!
Now that ya got that little tid bit of information. Turp and J. decided that they were going to be evil last night. They wanted Chinese food. Now I Loves me some Chinese food! However if I eat it I am poppin' Benedryl like Tic Tacs. SO they make me go to Panda Express so they can order what seemed like 2 of everything on the menu. They proceed to pass boxes back and forth under my nose saying things like " Oh this is sooo good"and "Do you want some" "That's right you can't have any huh?" just cruel right???
I sat there watching them chow down like Armageddon was coming and this was their last meal. Begrudingly I picked at my rabbit food plotting my revenge. I was thinking that some homemade fudge brownies laced with Ex Lax sounded like a good idea but what happened next was better that anything I could ever have done.
They got Food Poisoning! Ha! The boys were definitely green around the gills and wussed out of the rest of our shift. By the time we got back to the shop to drop off the bus all Turp could do was puke and groan. Neither of them was in any shape to drive. I piled them both in my car and schlepped them home. J. tried to say thanks, I think, but what he actually said came out like word salad.
As I sit here writing this post I have come up with what I want to say to the pair of them when I call to check on them today... KARMA FUCKERS...KARMA IS A BITCH!!!

Breaking The Rules...

And loving it! Turp and I have broke a few tonight. No big deal. We can usually be found on the laptop surfin' the net between calls at post. However we stopped by the pizza place where my twin nephews are having their 3rd Birthday party. My oldest son was there so it was nice to see him. A lot of the kids were running up saying stuff like "cool your mom is a cop". I wear a badge. So I understand the mix up. I took my nephews out to my rig and let them light it up and play with the sirens around the parking lot. They loved it! Turp on the other hand just stood off to the side and looked scary. We NEVER let Turp around kids. He usually just growls and says "Little things are getting to close" Like he did tonight. I keep him around to do the heavy lifting.
I have to ask a question. Why do parents feel the need to call for a medic when their kid does something stupid such as shove a lego piece up their nose? Yup we got that one tonight. All I can pretty much do is say "Yup it looks stuck up there". Offer transport or tell them to take the kid to urgent care. I still laugh at the strange things I see. I'll post later if I can.

I'm Playing Hooky!

I get to take the night off of work. Doctors orders.
I have had my head so full of stuff lately it is a good thing to take a night where I have to relax.
At about 0645 ( yes folks I use military time) I talked to the Fireman, Danny. I actually woke him up via a text message. I know but I just wanted to say good morning before he went to work. I have a serious case of Danny on the brain and I don't know why. People don't usually get to me like that. SOOO. by 1000 I decided to send him a text message. It's official. I am NUTZ! I have lost it completely!
OK next subject.. Last night XH#1(ex husband #1) called me and asked if he could get Ethans hair cut.. MMKAAYY.. My son his a fashion freak.. He picks out his own clothes, wears Hugo Boss cologne you get the idea. If you guessed that he also has to have a great hairstyle that is styled just so you would be right. I'm thinking a quick trim nothing too extreme.. Ok I am alright with that. Sure, get his haircut I say. Oh boy was I wrong. My son came home with a shaved head. Oh lord! I have no idea how he got talked into that one. The only problem was at school today he had a group of girls trying constantly rub his head. Maybe because it was so soft. I dunno.. But I hope he has learned a lesson. Girls like soft fuzzy stuff and if given the chance they will touch it. Ha.. I love it.

Ok the first thing I have to say is I like firemen!
I have always thought my my life was crazy enough without a man in it but hey we all have our flaws. Over the last 7 years I have fought to keep my life together. Sometimes failing miserably. Most of the time I can keep things running smoothly(as much as a single mom can.)
I work insane hours that most people would hate. I work with men then come home to little men. My boys keep me really busy.. Especially my oldest Ethan. He is 11 and a genious... literally! My youngest Zachary is a normal 9 year old boy. Thank God! I couldn't handle two of them. So with sports, private tutoring sessions, Doctors, Dentists etc.. I could lose my mind!
But I digress. Why in all that is holy would I want a man on top of all that? I honestly have no idea. One just kinda fell in my lap! What exactly am I gonna do with a man? Wait don't answer that! I know what to do with one. I mean what am I going to do with a relationship?
My partner at work, Turp made a myspace page for me kinda as a joke. So one night I was looking through it and ran across a fireman. I used to be one and thought it would be fun just to chat. Here's the catch. He was great! Smart, funny, cute the whole package. We chatted online for hours. Then we moved on to phone calls. The only downside to Fireman is he lives 2 1/2 hours away. Just for future reference...I HATE to drive! I do so much of it at work. So when I am not working and I drive I get anxiety, Bad.
We talked ALOT! I really like him and I decided to go meet him. Long story short.. We have had 2 incredable weekends and I can't wait to see him again. We talk several times every day. I am actually excited to see where this goes. Wish me luck!