Blame it on ME!!!
Wow! I have a lot to catch up on. I admit it I am terrible at this Blog thing. First things first. I am safely up north. My house is in the hands of a higher power right now. Hurricane Dean is headed for the island. My good vibes are out there for those who can't get to the Pacific Northwest. or higher ground anywhere. I had to make sure my boys were safely up here before I go back down to suit up and do my job.
Wish us luck! I will post again very soon I promise.
-Sami

Update!
I didn't want to leave anyone in suspense but life happens and thankfully death did not.
My cousins wife had an extensive surgery to repair the first aneurysm and came through it pretty well. They found she had a second one on her carted artery that had not ruptured. The Doctors decided to wait and see on the second if the blood thinners would work.
Today she had the second surgery to fix the carotid and as of 20 min ago they called and said she is resting comfortably in the ICU. Forgive my writing skills tonight as I haven't slept but 3 hours in 49 total. Keep up the good vibes.
I will update soon.

Good Call Gone Bad.
(disclaimer:I normally DO NOT Post about work or the calls I get my lawyer strongly frowns on that but this is a different situation as you will see.)
Ok. Last night I went back to work after a few hours sleep. Feeling much more rested than I had been for a few days. I really was not prepared for what the night would bring.

In my line of work and in this town you always run the risk of getting sent on a call to help someone you know. So as I had just gotten comfy and was reading some blogs last night. I hear BEEEEP right in my ear. My eyes roll and I hang my head. The tones had dropped and I wait patiently for the lady in the box to start rattling off the details of the call. Sometimes you can tell how good a call will be by the tone and urgency of her voice and speech. This time We know we were going to br running hot.
I hear from the lady in the box "Medic unit #XX... Respond to 123 whatever lane for a 38 yo female unresponsive. No Other details at this time. Will update en route."
Well to us unresponsive in this town is a fairly common thing. Anything from a drunk to a deceased person. The lady in the box gives us the sense of urgency here..
Mike is driving which means I will be lead on this call tonight. The street name is known to me but I can't remember why as a passing thought. Moving on...
We pull on to the street and I get a nasty sick feeling in my gut when I realize where we are heading. I pray not but as Mike pulls up, I know. We pull up to my cousins house. My cousin R is kneeling just inside the door next to his wife. I went white as a ghost.
Not to go into too many details. But we C-spined and immobilized. Got as much info as we could scooped and ran. I think our on scene time was close to 6min total. I never let family members ride in back except for stable peds cases. This time I made the exception. R needed to be there. I have never intubated, started two lines and hooked someone up to a 12 lead so fast and accurately in my life. Adrenaline can be a wonderful drug. I am glad to have had Mike with me he is an amazing driver. We Blued her to our best trauma center in the city. Total time door to door 22 mins.
when we wheeled her in and transferred her over I was in the room. I don't think I stated that we were related. But normally we clear out and make room for them to work. I just kept bagging and a few mins later I was told I could go the the nurse would take over. That was when I looked up. And they saw the tears running down my face. The Doc said quietly " Do you know her?" I just nodded and kept focused on what I was doing. I was afraid to speak. I would lose it if I did.
I finally gave over control of her airway when they took her to radiology. I went to find my cousin R. I filled him in on the situation and told him to pray. As we waited I had called my family and My supervisor was now arriving at the hospital. The Doc called us to the side and told us.. D had an aneurysm that had ruptured in her brain. Now I knew this is not good and asked which neurosurgeon would be working on her. That is when I was told there were none. What??? None at this facility? Ok where to I ask? The Doc said "no. None in this state" my heart sank and I was truly afraid.
We had to wait a bit and work out the details but since I had been certified a a flight medic I was allowed to make the 4 hour chopper ride with MedStar as the medic. R was happy she wouldn't be alone. He started the long drive and we took to the skies.
I left her in the very capable hands of the ICU team at a neighboring state university. And flew back with the crew I was with. I would have wanted to stay but I had my run forms to do. They got rather neglected. So I am now home and getting regular updates from the University Docs and relaying messeges to all of my family. D will be having surgery to repair her carotid artery in about 20 mins.
I am asking you all to send Good vibes and prayers her way.

10 Days Of Joy!
S.P.F...
Brought to us by Shaun and Kristine at Random and Odd.
This week... A holiday of Decemberish delight! Our assignment this week is:
1.) One decoration.
2.) One present.
3.) One stocking stuffed with something.
Disclaimer: Here at my house we celebrate both Hanukkah AND Christmas. Hence 10 days of joy. (Roman Catholic Mother and a Jewish father. It works for us and we don't ask questions.
Moving on...

One Ornament.






I don't know why exactly I like this one. Just pretty guess. My tree is done in white and blue with feather garland. I have collected ornaments from all over the world. This one keeps drawing my eyes and my memories.

2.) One stocking stuffed with something.

My hope is that the passes will not be crappy. That would mean that Brett will have his hands stuffed in this sucker on Monday morning.

3.) One Present.

My oldest son takes full responsibility for this one. I have no clue what is in it but it does say to Mommy on it. YAY!

Sorry the photos are so rough. I have been working a 24 hour shift and I am going WAAYYYY into O.T. . I guess there really is no rest for the wicked. Oh ya and Blogger is a Bah humbugging this post.

Ok So I didn't play for MONTHS I know. But I hope you all have a Happy Holiday or Holidays of your choice.

Did Ya play??

Trying To Find My Thoughts...
Somewhere along the way I have lost my thoughts. Or so you would think if you ever read this blog. I have sat here a lot lately trying to figure out what to say to explain my absence and lack of posts.
I want to share. I want to keep my family and friends in on what I am going through. But to put the thoughts down on this screen sometimes is just to hard. Honestly it just feels overwhelming. But here we go anyway.
I am doing ok.. I am here and fighting, alive and kicking. OK OK **ducking for cover** Not what you were looking for??? I am well. I am working but only 8 hour shifts 5 days a week. Not killing myself with 12 to 24 hour shifts. I have received my chemo pump and it sits conveniently on my hip by my glove pouch at work. Upside.. Not sitting at the cancer center for hours to get treatments. No one knowing that I am wearing the little bugger. Downside.. No one knows it is there!! Overly helpful Fire Guys who wanna help keep you steady when you climb in the back of a slippery rig grab ya by the waist.. Can we all say it?? "OUCH!" I admit to forgetting it is there and it is just the right height to keep catching and bumping on our new Stryder hydraulic bariatric stretchers. .. Corners and rails going up into it Are . Not . My . Friends.!.
I have been getting my treatments regularly for the last 4 weeks THANK BOB! I am back to having decent blood levels once again. For about 2 months I had to stop due to crappy labs and pneumonia.
Things are looking great so sayeth the almighty M.D.'s. I am having another laparoscopy to remove the larger of the two tumors. Yes that would be the one they missed the first time around.
Ok have I bored you all enough?? The kids are doing great and Heaven help us all I need to get my head checked!!! I got Ethan a cell phone. .
Thanks for the e-mails and calls.
And Yes I am playing SPF on friday!

Days of what used to be.. I have been thinking alot lately about what my life used to be like. Maybe melancholy had set in or something. I once weighed 90 pounds and toured around the world. Most people see what I want them to see. Be it the shy woman afraid to start up a conversation or open my mouth to a room full of people. Many have seen me take full command of a crowd of scared family members as they gather around an ill or injured person they love, As I am shaking inside to put people at ease when I know the truth...
Well the truth is I wish somedays I could go back to the days when my turnout was the biggest worry of the day or if I should have white rice or brown.. Stupid things really.. I was killing my self to be what I thought people wanted me to be.. I just want to be a mom who loves her boys with all of her heart.. I don't care anymore if I happen to add a ton of gravy to the rice and I am still scared that I am not what people want me to be. I am sorry if this is a rambling post but I felt it just needed to get out of my system... I guess what I am getting at is I want to be as beautiful now as I once was... but this time on the inside.. I want to find a way to share it with the world as I once did in that finely tuned body that is no more. Gravity sucks!

OK SO I promised to add to what I said in my last SPF.. Well here goes..That would be Brett with his arms wrapped around me. We have known each other for over 17 years and have been the best of friends. When I got sick again this spring he told me to come on down and relax... Well let's just say I did more than that. I fell in love with someone who has always been there for me. He really is a good man. He held me tight while I was puking from treatment.. Kept icepacks at the ready for my tummy after my surgery. Yep I had it all done in Texas.. It really was a beautiful place to relax.. So here I go with surprise #2
This is MINE!!! The white one not the blue one.. yup I bought it. I will be leaving Washington for Galveston Island for 2 full weeks. Just to chill and have some quiet ME time. Brett has gotten the house completely furnished and all the extras I may need.. But I am now the proud owner of VACATION PROPERTY..Now some of you would like it if I permanently made the move to Texas.. but my family and my heart will always be up north.. I guess all my dreams are coming true.. And Brett has been patiently waiting for the time to be right.. Well folks the time is right.. wish me luck!